New Year, Same Me
Why is there constant pressure to reinvent oneself?
As the clock starts to roll over into a new year, the same rhetoric seeps up to the surface like a backed-up septic tank. The call for purges, the latest cleanses, the Ins and Outs lists. The idea that when midnight strikes on the New Year, the slate gets wiped clean and a new you is born. New possibilities, new choices; this always irked me in a way that’s been hard to put my finger on, so lord help me try to put it in writing.
This isn’t exactly a hot take by any stretch of the imagination but there is nothing stopping you from putting this kind of effort into your life throughout the year. The arbitrary calendar year seems like a physical bookend to begin or end whatever choices you’re deciding to make, but let’s face it, January is a shitty time to do anything! January sucks! It’s cold and windy and I personally don’t want to do anything if there is the possibility of my hat blowing off my head and down the street the second I step off my stoop.
The whole idea of “New year, new me” seems flawed and a product of the same industries telling us we aren’t attractive enough or successful enough, and ultimately not spending enough money to fix those things (everything comes down to capitalism, generally.) That fucked grindset mentality that we are never enough that makes me want to shoot a gun at the moon. There is nothing wrong with being happy with where you are in this world, no matter where that is. It’s not complacency, it’s contentment.
I’ve been fortunate enough to feel content most of my life. My podcast co-host gives me a hard time insisting that my confidence is rooted in narcissism but honestly, I’m very happy with the person I am, and the life I’ve created. It’s freeing, but it took a lot of growth to get to where I am. Surely, I could be more ambitious, or perhaps allow my integrity to lapse occasionally at the expense of my art to make more money sometimes, but I really enjoy the balance I’ve struck with the universe.
Seeing folks battle with the idea of reinvention points to a deeper root of insecurity. The world telling us we should never be happy with who we are, or that we should always be seeking to improve ourselves is misguided and dangerous. Learn to sit with yourself, be comfortable in your own company, take inventory of who you are, and incrementally improve small pieces of yourself at a time. I really didn’t mean for this entry to be some kind of self-help woo-woo bullshit, but honestly seeing all the poisonous rhetoric being spread as self-improvement drives me up the wall. I am by no means the authority on any of this, but love yourself and the rest will fall into place.
2024 in Review
I’ve been having a lot of trouble summing up this year. Normally, I try to write some grand statement marking all of my accomplishments but as I get older, the appeal of that is seeming to wane. In truth, this was a big year for me. I moved into a new apartment I can call my own. It was probably my most successful year monetarily. My podcast is rolling into its third year this coming March, releasing over 75 episodes in 2024 and getting to talk to some great people. The RangeFinder Diaries celebrated its 15th anniversary. I spent some great time with family and friends around the country. Took a road trip around New England. I shot about 42 rolls of film total.
I also felt that this year was a bit of a let down, or a lateral move artistically. A lot of that was the reason I started this blog and I’ve posted about my hang ups here. I lamented on one of my previous entries about my creative guilt, and the vacuum I felt by only releasing on photo book this year. The lack luster fashion week in September. The state of the art industry at-large. These are all things I want to improve upon as best I can in 2025. These are things I feel deeply within myself but taking my own advice; these are artificial standards I’ve set for myself that I need to bury.
The truth is, I am constantly being creative and I need to hold onto that. Even when I’m not out taking photos, I’m still making podcasts, editing audio, creating artwork, and even writing this blog. It all scratches the same itch and I need to remember that. I also need to recognize that being creative isn’t the solution to everything. I need to go out more, spend more time with friends, meet new people, travel to new places. It’s easy for me to fall into a routine and get too comfortable. 2020 2021 2022 2023 2024 2025 will be my year lol.
